It’s been a while! You might be asking yourself: Why do I care about the ramblings of flaky rando who is incapable of keeping any semblance of a blog schedule?
To that I say: …Let’s move on.
Almost a year ago, I saw this commercial on television:
I saw that commercial and all I could think was: Cheesy dialogue? A vaguely disgusting plot (Apparently the best friend and the mother have known each other since he was a toddler which…you know, isn’t ideal)? A punny title??? Count me all the way in! Significant Mother was on the the fast track to becoming one of my favorite shows ever.
So. After acknowledging that fact, I recognize that my personal preferences might be a little questionable. That, however, isn’t going to stop me from presenting them as law! I had originally meant to do a monthly favorites sort of thing every month to tell you about what I’ve been into, but, as I mentioned above, that plan sort of fell apart. The good news is that I’ve spent my time away accumulating several things to share with you guys! You might be wondering: Why do I care about what this internet person thinks is interesting?
Well, dear reader, my answer to that is: You sure have a lot of questions, don’t you?
LET US BEGIN.
My love of the Princess Diaries franchise is well documented. Meg Cabot’s books were a HUGE part of my childhood; they’re part of why I love reading so much today. In The Princess Diaries, Mia Thermopolis keeps a detailed journal, writing down the daily goings-ons and wacky shenanigans in her life, including, but not limited to:
- A chain-smoking Grandma with impulse control issues
- A best friend who antagonizes foot fetishists
- An evil archnemisis
- The perils of the paparazzi
- That one time a guy accidentally broke a globe over his own head in front of her
And worst of all:
- A complete inability to understand algebra
Despite the fact that my own high school experience was admittedly less colorful, I could always relate to whatever Mia was going through. And really, when you get past the obvious, we really weren’t all that different. I obviously never had to deal with the drama that comes along with being famous, but I, too, never really got a good grasp on that whole math thing AND my life is full of wacky shenanigans! In fact, I’ve managed to take all of you along on the ultimate shenanigan: the idea that I’ll ever be a successful writer!The newest Princess Diaries book came out months ago, and of course I bought it right away. Here is a dramatic re-telling of the night I bought the book:
The bookstore is quiet. It’s Sunday night, twenty minutes before closing, and most people have already gone home, leaving the Barnes and Nobel an empty playground for people who have nothing better to do with their lives on a Sunday; no family obligations or meetings with potential paramours to hold them back from the only thing truly good and pure in this world: literature!
Enter KIANA. She leaps into the store in one mighty bound, her arms clawing madly at the air in front of her as if prepared for a fight. When she realizes there is no one standing in the way of the one thing she needs to survive, she slowly lowers her arms to her side. Her eyes continue to flit around the room, however, never fully resting on any particular thing, darting to and fro faster and ever faster until they finally lock in on her target: YOUNG ADULT FICTION.
It cannot be denied that she is an adult, but the word “young” seems out of place when applied to her: she is all sharp angles and loose, wrinkly skin hanging limply from her skeletal frame. She drags herself across the room, ignoring the startled looks of the booksellers; they don’t matter to her. The only thing that matters now is Michael Moscovitz, and she is close to him, so, so close to him. She can feel it in her bones.
Finally, she reaches her destination. She runs a bony hand along the spine of the books, searching for the “CA” section.
Suddenly, she stops.
Her breath catches in her throat and her slight frame quivers in excitement as she finally sees what she’s been looking for: ROYAL WEDDING by MEG CABOT.
She greedily grabs it and a strange feeling begins to flood her chest; a feeling of warmth and security, emotions she had long left behind on her journey to this book. Almost immediately, that feeling of warmth is replaced by a guttural howl, a howl that is so sharp, so raw, that she can’t believe it’s coming from within her. The howl grows louder and more shrill until it is a piercing shriek, then it rises still, breaking the sound barrier and defying the laws of science.
Suddenly, a large clap! and a flash of light and it’s over. KIANA has vanished, the book gone with her, nothing to suggest she was ever there but a pair of shattered glasses on the floor.
The BOOKSELLERS shrug their shoulders: they’ve seen it all before.
Anyway, I loved it! Five stars! Would read again!
Lately, I’ve been trying to manage my anxiety in healthier ways.
Usually when I get stressed out, I just sort of shut down and stop doing the things I’m supposed to do. I stop doing much of anything, really, except mindlessly flicking through giffs on tumblr. This is, of course, not at all conducive to a normal lifestyle, especially if you’re trying to finish school, which probably explains why it took me three years to realize I didn’t want to be a nurse. Who can say?
So now when I get stressed out, instead of running away from my problems, I try to calm myself down with deep breaths and various other relaxation methods. I also try to write about why I’m stressed in my journal; it helps me work out my thoughts and realize that some things aren’t that catastrophic, after all.
These tools really help me manage my anxiety, but I haven’t ruled out the Internet completely. I couldn’t possibly! The Internet was my first friend and will probably be my last if I keep writing about myself like I’m some kind of demon.When I’m feeling really stressed, and just need to chill and zone out, I go to Chihuahua Spin, and I just watch a dog roll around for a while. Something about it is just so calming, assuming you only watch the chihuahua spin a reasonable number of times. Otherwise, you might waste too much time on the website and ignore too many of your responsibilities. THEN you’ll have to explain to people that you ruined your entire life because you just couldn’t stop watching a chihuahua roll around, and that is arguably the most stressful situation of all.
Anyway, I hope you like my recommendations! And if you don’t, well, you should probably reevaluate your life.