Usually, when someone asks me what my goals for the new year are, I say “My only resolution is to be a bad bitch,” and ignore the angry glare that always follows. But this year, I’ve decided to take things a bit more seriously.
I think we can all agree: 2015 was a garbage year full of garbage things. On a large scale, we saw various acts of terorism, bigotry and the rise of Full body contouring. On a smaller scale (i.e. things only relating to me) we saw accidental breast grazing, unfortunate hair decisions, and endless stains on cardigans. I am more than ready to leave all of that behind me.
So I’m making a resolution. I saw one of my Facebook friends resolve to do this, and I am jumping on the bandwagon: 2016 will be a year of power moves only.
Now, you may be wondering: Kiana, what exactly does that mean?
Well, dear reader, let me start from the beginning.
I have always had trouble asserting myself. For example, when I was seventeen, one of coworkers wished me a happy Kwanzaa, assuming I celebrated the holiday because I am African. A normal person would have just told him they didn’t celebrate Kwanzaa. A normal person would have said it with poise, and grace, and maybe a dash of charm for good measure. Instead of doing any of these perfectly normal things, I fell into a little something I like to call an insanity spiral.
For some unknown reason, I became convinced that just telling him I didn’t celebrate Kwanzaa was too awkward a situation for me to bear. So I thanked him…and he went on to ask several very specific questions about the nature of Kwanzaa.
“It’s…really just about togetherness, you know?” I mumbled dumbly.And that is just one example of many when I had the opportunity to stand up for myself and say one simple thing and I just…didn’t.
Well, I’m sick of it! I’m sick of being timid and quiet when it matters the most. I’m sick of sitting in the background while interesting things are happening all around me. I’m sick of being a supporting actor in my own life. From this moment on, POWER MOVES ONLY.
This, of course, begs the question: What exactly constitutes a power move?
Unfortunately, I cannot give you a true answer as the essence of the power move is vague and undefined, but I will try my best: A power move is a subtle way of taking back dominance.
If employed correctly, a person will not even realize that a power move has been played on them. Not right away, at least. They will just wake up one morning feeling weak. Any sense of pride and ambition they once felt will be dashed down, replaced only with a deep, newfound respect for the you. This will seem perfectly normal to them; they will feel as though things have always been this way, with you as the alpha, and them as the beta. It won’t even occur to them to be concerned, so complete will be your rise to superiority.
You are victorious: It’s time to claim your rightful place on the throne, scepter in hand, and bathe in the warm glow of the adulation of your former superiors. This is your kingdom now, and you will rule with an iron fist.
…Or, in my case, it just means actually using my voice. I want to dedicate this year to speaking up when someone is making me uncomfortable; I want to speak up when I see someone doing something wrong to others; and I want to speak up and actually communicate how I think/feel (something that has been notoriously difficult for me). I know that this will be an uphill battle- being passive is one of my dominant personality traits- but I’m feeling hopeful about the new year.
What are your resolutions?