Good morning friends and family of said friends! Gather round, for I have a very important message to share with you: This blog has a Facebook page. I’ve never mentioned it directly before because I didn’t want to fall into the bottomless pit that is shameless self promotion, but then I realized: writing a blog is the ultimate form of shameless self promotion. So if you have a Facebook account and you like reading this blog, why not take a lil’ journey over the page and give it a like? Do it! Or don’t. Or do.
*Phew* Feels good to get that off my chest! Now, onto the regularly scheduled blog post.
Many moons ago, Hiba, my Dazzled buddy and all round A-plus indivdual, nominated me for the One Lovely Blog award.
Of course, being the unreliable person that I am, it took me several months to actually sit down and start writing. And make no mistake: I didn’t spend those months thinking up clever and innovative ways to make this blog post special. You’ve got some supremely mediocre content heading your way.
Here are the rules for the award:
1. You must thank the person who nominated you and include a link to their blog.
2. You must list the rules and display the award.
3. You must add 7 facts about yourself.
4. You must nominate other bloggers and comment on one of their posts to let them know they have been nominated.
5. You must display the award logo and follow the blogger who nominated you.
So without further ado, here are seven facts about me:
1. I used to be super into Neopets. Every day after school, I would race home and hop onto the computer, one question at the forefront of my mind: How are my Neopets doing? The answer was usually not great: Since I really only cared about playing the games and winning rare items, my Neopets were often neglected. I sometimes went weeks without giving them anything to eat. To this day, my Neopets are starving quietly in some forgotten corner of the internet. I would log into my account to feed them, but all memory of my log in information has faded away into the ether, along with most of my other fourth grade memories. This may sound cruel, but the experience taught me a valuable lesson: I should never own a pet.
2. I cannot sew to save my life. When I was in sixth grade, I took a class that dedicated a whole three months to teaching me and my classmates this valuable gift. While my peers left with a new skill tucked securely under their belts, all I had to show for my efforts was a lumpy, misshapen pillow. My mother often points out that I should have been able to retain at least some of the information from the class. What she doesn’t understand is that after each school year, my brain clears out everything I’ve learned to make room for the names of new Pokemon.
3. I am an introvert. Many people mistake my loud (and frequent) outbursts for extroversion, but the truth is actually far more complicated: I am often uncomfortable in social situations, but my need to be liked overpowers any awkwardness I might be feeling. Coping with this problem has been difficult, but I am getting stronger every day. Like Jesus, dragging his torture stake along the- you know what? I’m not even going to finish that thought.
4. I am a terrible cook. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people who are a wiz in the kitchen, but every food I touch inevitably turns to ash. Literally. There is almost always fire involved. But: I am excellent at boiling things, if I do say so myself!
5. MEG CABOT FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER (and then promptly unfollowed me). A few months ago, Meg Cabot, author and living legend, saw something special in me. She clicked the “follow” button and leaned back contentedly into her chair, presumably happy with her decision. A couple days later, however, something scared her away. Maybe it was my near constant tweeting about my various urine-related incidents. Maybe it wasn’t. We will never know for sure.
6. I don’t understand snapchat. I downloaded Snapchat a few years ago, and since then, my use of the app has been spotty at best. Every time I think I finally get what Snapchat is all about, I realize that I haven’t even begun to understand the basics. Also, nothing in my life is worthy of being photographed. I think that my inability to understand Snapchat (and many other social-media apps) is a sign that my transformation into a crotchety old man is finally complete. I’m just going to have to make peace with this.
7. I’ve never been on a boat. Unless you count a brief tour around Lake Superior in which the tour guide kept making puns about how the lake is “superior” to all other bodies of water. Which I do not. I’m totally fine with this, though. Ever since I watched Titanic, I’ve had an irrational fear that any boat I step on will sink as soon as I get on deck.
There you have it: Seven facts about me that you did not care to know!
I would like to take this time to thank Hiba for giving me this award. In case you didn’t know, Hiba also has a blog, and it is magnificent. If you’re not reading it, you’re not living.
Here are the blogs that I’m nominating for the award next:
4. Dear Abbey
Welp, that’s all folks!