*Blows dust off of blog*
Hello, dear readers!
I’m not gonna lie: I’ve been trying to write this blog post for three weeks. Every morning, I got out of bed a flipped open my laptop, willing an interesting story to pop into my mind. Then, I would have a sudden flash of inspiration and feverishly type out a couple paragraphs, only to realize that it was all garbage. I hung my head in shame, convinced that I would never again be able to write anything of substance. I imagined you scoffing as you read my blog, shaking your head in both sadness and disgust as you reflected on how far I’d fallen; Long gone are the days when I was capable of churning out literary masterpieces without even breaking a sweat.
I slowly shut my laptop and curled into a ball of the floor. I heard a low moan fill the air around me; it seemed to be coming not from my throat, but from the very center of the universe. It was a mournful cry for the girl I once was, for the girl I would never grow to be. I shut my eyes tight, willing the tears to stop, but down they poured, clouding my vision until I could see nothing but regret. Together, me and the universe wept, and I began my journey into the void.
…Then, I remembered that I once wrote a blog post petitioning America to change the National anthem to “Party In the USA” by Miley Cyrus, and that really put things into perspective.
Anyway: I’m back now, and I plan to begin blogging regularly once more! For now, here is a picture of a yorkie dressed as a pug to tide you over.