A Letter To My Thirteen Year Old Self

A photo of me at age thirteen. Yes, I am sitting in a disgusting used chair I found on the street. Yes, I am adequately ashamed.

A photo of me at age thirteen. Yes, I am sitting in a disgusting used chair that I found on the street. Yes, I am ashamed of myself.

Hey Kiana!

What’s up? Right about now, you’re probably sitting in your room reading the newest Princess Diaries book, but I’m gonna have to ask you to put it down for just a minute because I have a couple things to tell you:

Do you remember that time in sixth grade when you accidentally shaved off one of your eyebrows in an attempt to seem more stylish? Do you remember the strange looks people gave you as you walked down the hallway, oblivious to their scornful laughter? Do you remember the loud gasp that escaped your English teacher’s lips as you entered her room, followed by a low whisper: “Kiana. What have you done?

Well, I’m sorry to say that situations like this will become a recurring theme in your life. You will make a lot of mistakes. You will be unable to censor yourself in public settings. At one point, you will loudly proclaim in the middle of English class that reading a certain short story makes you “Feel like you’re on drugs”, and you will not understand why this is inappropriate until later that night when you are laying in bed.

More on that: Every night, before you drift off to sleep, you will sift through every embarrassing thing that you have ever done. You will feel ashamed, and you will imagine punching yourself in the throat, one punch for every mistake. This will feel extremely cathartic.

The good news is that eventually, you’ll learn to take it in all in stride.

As cliche as it sounds, everything that once made you feel awkward and uncomfortable will eventually make you feel unique. Well, almost everything. That whole eyebrow thing is still a bit of a sore spot…but I digress.

You will meet awesome people who are creative and weird in all the same ways you are. You’ll go on adventures with these people and make memories that will last a lifetime. Occasionally, you will also make horrible mistakes together, but even when things are falling apart, you and your friends will always find something to laugh about.

In the future, your life will not be perfect. You will never develop a complete understanding of algebra, you will drift apart from some people, and there will be many, many unfortunate urine-related incidents.

But that’s okay.

Because even though your life may not be the amazing whirlwind of excitement that you want it to be, it will be enough.

-Kiana.


Writing this letter was really fun; I learned a lot about myself doing it. Now, I want to learn a little bit about some of you. HeyPoofy, Hiba, and Andie– I tag you to write a letter to your thirteen year old selves next! You know. If you feel like it. Also: Even though I only asked a couple people specifically to write a letter, everyone is invited to do so! Yay, bonding!

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2 thoughts on “A Letter To My Thirteen Year Old Self

  1. tryingnovelty says:

    I was going to comment anyway before I even saw that you tagged me to do it! First, your posts make me so smiley and I feel like I just wanna hug you afterwards, this included. I’m sorry that that sounds so creepy. Secondly, thank you for tagging me!!! I’m excited to try it! 🙂

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