“Swag Swag, like Caillou.”- a conversation with my little brother.

Haterz gonna h8

Haterz gonna h8 (source)

FADE IN:

Int. Williams Family Home. KIANA and DAVID are sitting in their living room, both of them flipping through their phones. Suddenly, KIANA looks up, a startled expression on her face.

KIANA
David, did you know that “Caillou” was cancelled?

DAVID
Was it ’cause of the cancer?

KIANA
…Caillou didn’t have cancer.

DAVID
Then why was he bald?

KIANA
I don’t know. Because he wanted to be?

DAVID
So, what you’re saying is that Caillou was a skinhead?

KIANA
No! Of course not! WHY does everyone think that? It’s PBS!

DAVID
So what? In the morning, Caillou has to be all nice and stuff, sure. But who can say what hidden fantasies he succumbs to in the night? Namely, racism.

KIANA
…Okay. Well, I just wanted you to know that “Caillou” was cancelled.

DAVID
Good. Caillou was a little bitch. OH! Have you seen this video?

DAVID leaps excitedly up from the couch, shoving his phone into his sister’s face. KIANA studies theΒ screen, her face slowly giving way to horror and repulsion. This is what she sees:

DAVID

SWAG SWAG LIKE CAILLOU.

Kiana.

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