6 Things I’m Thankful For

“We’re like brothers…only closer.” My thankfulness for Spongebob transcends life. (source)

I haven’t even said anything, and this post is already ridiculous for several reasons, the foremost being that my family doesn’t even celebrate Thanksgiving, presumably because you should be thankful every day of the year. Or at least that’s what my mother condescendingly said whenever I asked her… but whatever.

In no particular order, I am thankful for:

6. My friends

Seriously, though. How do I even have friends? I am the flakiest person you will ever meet and I talk too loud in public settings, and I’ve been known to make strange noises instead of vocalizing emotions with, you know, words. But you continue to hang out with me and answer my texts and drive me to work (and everywhere else, really) when my parents can’t and I love you guys so much you don’t even know. I know that teenagers are always like, “Me and my friends are gonna be besties foreva!” and then they go off to college and forget all about each other, but I legitimately see myself talking to my friends forever. And I really hope that is the case because they are all amazing people.

5. My family

Everyone in my family is crazy. They decide jet off to Africa and then call me to tell me about it when they’re already in the car driving to the airport. They quit their jobs to start colleges. They force me to have rap battles with them. They make me stand outside in the burning hot sun to tend to their exotic cabbages.  All of those things are ridiculously annoying. But they also take care of me and laugh with me and nod sympathetically when I tell them about my horrible day. Also, my mother was in labor with me for eleven hours, which as far as I’m concerned, cancels out any wrong she could possibly do.

4. Having a place to call home

There are a startling number of people who don’t have a safe place to sleep every night, many of them the same age as me. That is pretty much the saddest thing ever. I think that if I were homeless, I would be dead withing a month. I have no survival skill, y’all. I am so grateful I have a home, even if my room walls are too thin, and I can hear my brother rapping along with Kanye West in the middle of the night.

“Let’s get lost tonight! You could be my black Kate Moss ton-”

NOBODY CARES. (Jk LOL) (But not really. Love you, Bro!)

3. Not having diseases

There was a time in my life when I wanted to be a doctor. Watching hours of hospital dramas on T.V. effectively destroyed that desire. Sick people are the worst, I can’t even handle it. And I know that’t a horrible thing to think because sick people never want to be sick. They hate their diseased condition as much as I do. But sick people freak me out and fill me with sadness, because I know that eventually, that could be me. Actually, it doesn’t even make sense that I would have ever wanted to be a doctor because when I was young, I had asthma so severe, I spent weeks in the hospital at a time. And this one time, I drank nebulizer fluid instead of inhaling it through the nebulizer like you’re supposed to and then I passed out and when I woke up later, I was in a hospital room and my mother was staring down at me all disappointed like,”You would.”. Apparently, I’d had some negative reaction to the fluid, and I had to get my stomach pumped or else I would have died.

Anyway, I’m thankful that I don’t have any diseases.

2. The fact that you’re reading this right now

My blog is a cold, dark place wrought with spelling errors. Thanks for reading it anyway. I appreciate every single person who bothers to check whether or not I’ve put up any new posts every now and then. You guys are my fave.

1. Life

I am alive. Even if I lead the most sedentary existence ever, there is breath in my lungs. I am eternally thankful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving.



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