When I was in fifth grade, High School Musical exploded onto the scene with all the force and grace of a drunken elephant. The movie’s success launched the main characters into stardom.
Everybody had a favorite character. If you asked a fourteen year old girl who the star of the movie was, you could reasonably expect her to reply “Zac Efron. ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAC EFFFROOOOOOOON!!!!” before she exploded, leaving behind a puddle of urine and lost dreams.
But she would be wrong. So very wrong.
From very the second first he graced the screen, I knew who the real star was: Coach Bolton, the long suffering father of Troy Bolton.
Look at him. LOOK AT HIM: the way his hair greasily sticks to his head. The way his boyish eyes shift frantically to and fro. The way he decides that because Troy is a boy and an athlete, he is not allowed to sing. SEXAY.
I like to imagine it was these same undeniable good looks that caused Mrs.Darbus to fall for him. Oh, you didn’t know? It’s true. I defy you to re-watch the movies and tell me there wasn’t an undeniable connection between the two of them. But who can blame them? They’re……(wait for it)…..BREAKING FREE, BITCHES.
And HSM is seriously so much better when you watch it thinking there’s an illicit love affair going on.