I know in school and in made for TV movies, they’re always telling you to “Be yourself no matter what!” and to “Express yourself!”, but what if the things you do and like are really, really embarrassing?
Thus is my predicament.
I know that this has been said before, but I must repeat it for emphasis: I AM THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE PERSON EVER. Like, it’s not even cute how uncomfortable I am. Not that it would be cute if somebody else was super awkward, but it’s especially not cute when I do it.
Here is a list of uncomfortable things I have done in the last week alone.
- I danced around my house to the High School Musical 2 soundtrack. I was so entranced with Troy’s hypnotic singing (Bet on it!), that I didn’t notice my mother standing in the doorway, watching me.
- I suggested (again) that the theme of our school homecoming dance be “Pirates”. Many an eye were rolled at my expense.
- I watched the Hannah Montana movie, and I’m not gonna say that I cried when the whole town promised to keep her secret, but I won’t say I didn’t either.
- I composed a hip hop song for my aunt’s dog entitled “The ruffest dog in town (get your growl on)”.
- I told my aunt Winifred that she had “swagger for days”.
- I re-learned all the dance moves from N*SYNC’s hit song “Bye Bye Bye”.
- I engaged in this conversation with a clothes salesperson while glancing at a shirt with Adele’s face on it:
Salesperson- Oh, I own that shirt!
Me- Well, “someone like you” could pull it off. HAHAHAHAHAHA…HAHAHAHA..HAHA..HA…
And now you know.