Why Can’t I be Oprah?

Look how well-adjusted is.

Seriously, though. Why can’t I be Oprah? I ask myself variations of this question every single day.

“Why Can’t I be Oprah? I bet she wouldn’t have spilled her water everywhere.”

“Oprah is so dignified. She never would have fallen down those stairs.”

and most frequently…

“WHY CAN’T I BE OPRAH? She would be good at chemistry.” 

Yes, I have problems. No, I am not doing anything to solve them. Except watching more Oprah. I’m hoping that together, we’ll stumble upon my “A-ha!” moment any day now.

But alas, my “A-ha!” moment continues to elude me, and I keep getting less and less competent at completing every day tasks. Like, it’s a legitimate problem.

Meh. I’m off to TiVo “Oprah’s Next Chapter”. I hear she’s interviewing 50 Cent!

Later days,



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